Horner's Corner

Problems come in two types: real and BS. Your kid snorting cocaine, that’s a real problem.

Unless she’s living in your house, having a mother-in-law is not a real problem: it’s a BS problem.

BS problems can infect entire nations, because they roam wider than herpes. Take illegal immigration. Perfectly natural: we’ve got work for people, Mexicans come over to do it, Americans pay them for it: no problem. However, some Americans don’t like those Mexicans and some politicians want the votes of those Americans, so they make illegal immigration a BS problem. You want a real problem? One out of four kids don’t finish high school. Solving that would be change I can believe in.

Internationally, real and BS problems contend like Tokyo and Godzilla, too. Real: Americans die every day in Iraq and Afghanistan. Why? Ask any politician this Tuesday, and they’ll give you a reason. Ask them next Tuesday, you’ll get a different reason. Whatever: the American penchant for sticking our nose in other people’s business is a hellhole of hubris that makes a Greek tragedy look like a sitcom. Removing our troops from Iraq and Afghanistan so they don’t die there like lab rats would be a change I can believe in, Mr. Babyface Barack.

Now for some BS: Iran. The problem? Iran is supposedly thinking of making supposed nuclear bombs. It’s no problem that America, Russia, Britain, France, Israel, India, China and Pakistan actually HAVE the bomb, it’s only a problem that Iran MAY get it. Talk about the pot calling the kettle a 100% saturated black.

What would be the problem if Iran had the bomb? Israel would squeal like an insurance company faced with a major surgery claim. Big deal. Israel actually has from 200 to 400 nuclear bombs, but we don’t seem to mind, even given their record of bombing everyone around them. Iran has a record of not bombing anyone around them for thousands of years, except once when Saddam Hussein attacked them. Israel having the bomb is way scarier than Iran getting it.

But isn’t Iran a dangerous theocracy that funds the terrorists Hamas and Hezbollah? Depends on your point of view. In the case of Hezbollah, Iran is funding their Shia buddies in Lebanon where the Shias have always been treated like second-class citizens, and Hezbollah is the mainstay of charities and education for the Lebanese Shias.

In the case of Hamas, it’s basically a game of tit for tat. The US supplies Israel with weaponry and money to the tune of $3 billion a year, and Iran supplies Hamas with funds. Israel uses our money and weapons to bomb the Palestinians, and Hamas uses funding from Iran to fight back. What’s the difference? The US and Iran are doing exactly the same thing. Given the fact that Israel kills from four to ten Palestinians for every one Israeli the Palestinians kill, the US is helping Israel do a four to ten times better military job than Iran does for Hamas — and a moral job worse than Iran by four to ten times.

Why might Iran WANT the bomb? Well, some damn foreigner invaded Afghanistan and Iraq on either side of Iran, killing and maiming people for nine years now. You’d have to be Amish not to look into a deterrent.

Iran isn’t the problem, stupid. We are. Because like illegal immigration and your mother-in-law, we make Iran our BS problem. Focusing on real problems, now that would be a change I can believe in, Babyface Barack.

by Evert Cilliers

3quarksdaily.