Horner's Corner

Notes Towards a Formula for Happiness

by on Feb.21, 2009, under psychoanalysis, psychology

320px-smirc-coolsvgFat chance. But here’s a small way towards helping you to value what you have got, and avoiding going all toxic about what you haven’t: counterfactualising downwards.

Counterfactual: the way things might have been. As in: counterfactual history (e.g. if Hitler had invaded Britain, if Margaret Thatcher had stepped in front of a bus in 1978 etc).

When we imagine how our lives could have been better (that job, that salary, if only he/she had fancied me, why don’t I have a better car -or why do the bad guys not step under buses? etc..) we are counterfactualising upwards .

But when we think how much worse things could have been we go the other way. And let’s face it, for most of us in the developed world things could have been much worse. For a start, just being in the developed world makes most of us part of the global super rich anyway. But think closer to home: haven’t you been lucky? This is not an invitation to smugness: a lot is joyfulness and gratitude, you miserable so-and-so? luck, isn’t it? Go on, be honest. 

So counterfactualise downwards, friends. Believe me, it’s good for mental health.

Of course, the pitfall to avoid now is sour grapes (‘Since I’m not going to get it, I never wanted that nice thing, anyway..), but that’s another story, and maybe another post.

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